"Most of us will never forget the first boy or girl we ever kissed, along with the circumstances in which that momentous event took place. My first kiss was with Winifred Healey. I was ten and she was going on eleven. It was next to the school peg where we hung up our coats before going into class. Seeing Winifred stood there looking lovely, I stole a kiss. At first she looked surprised, then seconds later, she smiled and stole one back! I don't know what it was then about being attracted to an older woman; perhaps it merely reflected the urge of an impatient boy to hurry along the biological learning process! The sheer power and impact of that first kiss kept both of us locked into each other's close affections for the next four years. When we left school, our paths diverged and we went our own way; I entered the mill and she entered a convent to become a nun.
Indeed, Winifred was indirectly responsible for setting me on my path of crime. After we'd exchanged kisses, I felt that I loved her so much that the very next day, while having tea at my friend's house, I stole a diamond engagement ring from Peter Lockwood's twenty-year-old sister to give to Winifred the next time I saw her. Once Winifred started showing the sparkler off to all her girlfriends, I rapidly became police suspect number one. Following that theft, Peter Lockwood's sister broke off her engagement with her fiance, and for a number of years after, I always wondered if my act of theft had brought matters to a head between the engaged couple.
Kisses have been used to communicate all manner of messages throughout the ages. No more will the male admirer kiss the gloved hand of the woman. Today, it will either be the air, cheek, lips, feet, ears, neck and all manner of body parts that will be kissed, dependent on the nature of the relationship and the purpose of the peck.
I once recall being told by a young woman that some of the best kissers she'd ever known had been first timers or frogs as she called them. Not understanding her at the time, I naturally looked confused and asked her for an explanation. 'When a bloke kisses you' she said, ''it's as though he goes all out to show you how experienced he is with the ways of the world. He invariably gives you a marathon mouth job that leaves you gasping for breath, which he mistakes for exhilaration instead of suffocation! Some Lotharios may even try to tongue tie you as they attempt to provide you with additional tuition in exercising your glands. The best kissers I've known have been frogs. Strangely enough, they just don't jump in feet first. Often, because of their lack of practice in the kissing arena, they don't dive in at the deep end before they've learned to swim. No; give me a frog to kiss any day!'
Whether you catch a kiss as a child as it is blown to you by a loving parent, or snatch a kiss as a boy on the cusp of youthful infatuation before the girl has had a chance to slap your face for gross impudence, or steal a kiss from a sleeping beauty as she smiles in slumber; it will remain special to you.
A kiss on the lips is the most intimate of all gestures. The reason is that a kiss never lies. From relationships between two passionate people who were so much in love at the start, yet end up, growing apart after a number of years, the kiss is always the first thing that goes; even before all sexual contact finally ceases. I recall once reading that prostitutes will engage in almost any activity for money, with the sole exception of kissing their clients; as kissing is considered too personal, too intimate, too priceless and is beyond the bounds of sale.
Never underestimate the importance of a kiss as it is probably the most significant statement we will ever make. As the famous Mae West remarked, 'A man's kiss is his signature.'
I'll end this post with one of my late mum's pieces of advice, 'Never close your eyes when you're kissing someone, Billy, because she might just be laughing at you and taking you for the fool!' William Forde: October 13th, 2016.