"If anger be your only response to disappointment, then you will forever act out the role of 'hammer'. When the stage has been reached that you've completely lost the plot and your extreme expression of explosive emotion is evident, your thoughts, words and deeds towards the person whom you perceive to have incited such anger in you is little short of murderous. It is at this stage of the process that you are determined to nail them to the cross and crucify them.
Most people do not consider themselves to be able to control their anger. They tend to see anger as being a predominant character trait and will often make excuses and remarks such as, 'Once I get my anger up, there's no stopping me!' Let me tell all of you who may hold this erroneous view, 'anger' is a learned reaction to frustration and other situations that instinctively annoy and upset you. Indeed, the expression of severe anger is a form of emotional disturbance and mental insanity, whereby one's behaviour has become extremely irrational and out of control.
The 'mental insanity' in anger is best seen when, instead of expressing hatred and anger towards another person, one suppresses their feelings and turns the anger inwards and starts to hate themselves. Instead of 'exploding' in anger, they 'implode' and become suicidal or engage in all manner of self harm. Every thought, every feeling and every action they have are self destructive at their heart
As the person who founded 'Anger Management' in the early 1970's; a process that instantly mushroomed in practice across the English speaking world, let me tell you that if one wishes to manage and control one's anger states, the very first thing to acknowledge is: 'I make me angry. Me; nobody else!'
If you want verification of this, you will find the clue in the very words of the sentence I used earlier: 'Once I get my anger up, there's no stopping me!'
After a serious traffic accident I incurred at the age of 11 years that left me with a damaged spine and unable to walk for three years, my predominantly expressed emotions changed overnight. I changed from the happy, positive, loving boy I'd been since birth, and I became a young boy who was constantly angry with the world around him. I feared never being able to walk again and in time I stopped loving myself and other people. It was only after I had found an initial peace in the regular practice of Relaxation and Transcendental Meditation exercises that I was able to stop fearing a negative future outcome and start loving myself once more. Once I relearned to love myself, I automatically started to express love for others again. Paradoxically, in 'finding myself' I'd found the process of managing anger and in later years, I was able to pass that on to countless others.
I believed that the earlier one was able to enter a child's mind, the sooner one could influence their future feelings and actions. While having written sixty-five books since 1989, my most popular and significant written work has been my 'Douglas the Dragon Omnibus' (Four stories for any reader over the age of 7 years about changing an angry dragon into a loving dragon) and the 'Douglas the Dragon Musical Play' for both children and adults (Funded by the National Lottery).
I use the 'Douglas Dragon' stories (over 50,000 copies sold to Yorkshire schools between 1990 and 2002), to tell the readers that there are two dragons who fight to live in the heart of every man, woman and child; the 'Dragon of Anger' and the 'Dragon of Love.' Whichever dragon wins this battle of residency controls the behaviour of the human body they live in; the way the person thinks, feels and does. It is impossible for the human mind and body to house two opposites at the same time; hence we can allow the 'Dragon of Anger' to live in our heart or the 'Dragon of Love', but not both. The choice is ours!
The essential message of 'Anger Management' is how to get the 'Dragon of Anger' out of your body. This can only be achieved by putting into your body, the 'Dragon of Love.' Whether one is 7 years old or 107, the process is the same. It takes the emotion of Love to dispel the emotion of Anger from our body!
Anyone who has a child or knows of a child who cannot control their expressed anger, though I say it myself, the very best book you can buy them for Christmas is my 'Douglas the Dragon Omnibus' which is obtainable in e-book format from www.smashwords.com or in hard copy from www.lulu.com and www.amazon.com If, on the other hand, however, you do not possess the means to purchase the book, all four stories are recorded on my website and can be freely listened to. Also, the 'Douglas the Dragon Musical Play' is also freely available to be read, besides listening to the original songs that accompany it. To access either:
Also note, that all profit from the sales of my books go to charitable causes in perpetuity (Over £200,000 since 1990).
I will conclude with a quote by Barbara de Angelis, the Amrerican author, lecturer and relationship consultant: 'The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.' " William Forde: November 3rd, 2017.