"We all have a secret past in some degree; things we did in our earlier life that we have not have yet emotionally resolved, may not wish to be reminded of, or for which we remain deeply ashamed or embarrassed. Such are facts that each growing relationship between a new couple must learn to deal with if they are to have a chance of long-term success and lasting happiness.
No one comes to a new relationship without a past and if your partner's drawer is neat and tidy when opened, leave it alone without seeking the need to rummage in all its corners. What you learn by unwilling contribution is often more likely to sour or destroy your happiness and relationship than what you aren't aware of.
Those things of the past which have been kept secret from you have usually been left undisclosed for good purpose. After all; take away a person's right to have a recess of their mind which only they have access to and you may as well take away their means of all peace and mental reconciliation, along with their potting shed at the bottom of the garden or their comfort derived from sharing secrets over coffee with their best friend who understands.
The more respectable a person is, the more certain they have their secrets. Remember, secrets have a way of making themselves felt just by their holding. Most secrets cannot be bound in eternal silence and have this capacity to find wings, especially where another person is concerned. Unfortunately, for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
The only exception to this rule is when a person (especially a child) has been physically violated by an adult and has been warned to keep their interaction secret. In such cases, the truth must out before any healing process can commence and it is more harmful the longer the secret is held. During my lifetime of work and contact with adults who were abused children and remained silent about their abuse and abuser into their adult years, never once have I seen healing take place and full health restored until they told their secret to a trusted other. It was as if they lived every one of their days facing death; thinking wrongly that their feelings were for themselves and nobody else to share.
Just like people with a terminal illness who face an earlier death, the abused secret holder cannot start to live until they have buried their emotionally traumatised past and have put it to rest. I learned a number of years ago after I discovered that I was fatally ill that I was happier each new day once I learned to take away its secrecy and freely talk about my illness. I discovered that we best learn how to die once we learn how to live the life we have every day we open our eyes and breathe into our lungs the dawn of love and the compassion of civilization.
So I beg all of you, please open your eyes to the power of love and the strength of sharing, along with gratitude for the dawning of a new day and the gift of life." William Forde : May 15th, 2017.So I beg all of you, please open your eyes to the power of love and the strength of sharing, along with gratitude for the dawning of a new day and the gift of life."