"When one is born the eldest of seven children and family poverty results in a table setting and food enough for no more than five children, one soon learns one of three important survival rules; to either push oneself forward in life and defend one's corner, to learn to do without whenever necessary, or perhaps the most important survival rule of all, to learn to cooperate and share; for it is a well-established truth that if the raging river holds space for only six swimmers to swim side-by-side and hold hands and seven siblings dive in, then one is sure to drown!
Unfortunately, however, loving families may be, sibling rivalry is rife where survival is concerned. It is probably to do with immaturity in its early stages and many psychologists will tell us that it is only natural to try to gain the approval of one or other parent over and above the privileges granted to your brothers and sisters. While children from a large family would shy away from being cast in the role of 'teacher's pet' in the classroom, all would willingly welcome being mum or dad's favourite in the home if the opportunity arose.
Being born the oldest of seven children, I am only too well aware that in relation to my younger siblings, I experienced a privileged position in both my parent's eyes. It is true that expectations were greater than those imposed on my younger brothers and sisters, but so were the rewards. With greater responsibility being given to me to always look after the safety and welfare of my younger siblings came a greater degree of personal freedom that none of the younger six ever knew.
All psychologists know that whether one is an only child or the oldest, youngest or middle child in a large family makes a big difference to the quality of one's childhood years and even during adult years that follow. Although I am the oldest of seven siblings, my memories of growing up are so different from my youngest four siblings but are infinitely closer to my next two sisters down.
For example, whereas I am aware that most of my siblings will respect my view, my sisters Mary and Eileen have been granted different family roles today. Since the death of my mother many years ago, my sister Mary (second in sibling hierarchy), has more or less adopted the role of 'mother of the family'; and my sister Eileen (the next in descending age order), who is the sibling who says little and takes everything it is considered the sensible one to approach by all her siblings for giving the most objective of views. In descending order, brothers Patrick, Peter and Michael, having been closest to each other during their years of growing up, still retain that closeness, and frequently socialise with each other today more than with myself and sisters Mary and Eileen. Sister Susan, who was the baby of the family, probably had the least happiest of upbringings of the seven of us. Whereas I came along and experienced the happiest years of my parent's marriage, sister Susan probably experienced their most difficult years. In many ways, we were not only born in different times but into different families.
I do believe, however, that being brought up at different times in the hierarchical family structure gave each of us different family experiences that moulded us into the characters we are today.
That said, family is everything to me; always has been and always will be. They have been my emotional anchor throughout my life and my greatest support, along with my wife Sheila, and my five children, especially since I contracted a blood cancer five years ago. To me, along with so many others out there, family is everything! " William Forde: May 14th, 2018.