"For twenty-five years I worked as Probation Officer specialising in areas of stress and fear reduction and anger management. Backing up all work in these areas was Relaxation Training.
Instead of looking at some of the more sophisticated procedures in helping these problem areas today, I would like to deal with the many simple things that anyone can/should do to not worry as much whatever it is they worry about.
So here are a few tips that I borrowed from the psychology shelf many years ago, have used constantly, and like the old library book never returned! These are things that worriers can instantly apply to their lives with significant benefit instantly accruing.
Worrying is like a rocking chair insomuch as it gives us something to do, but doesn't get us anywhere we want to go. Like a mother with a large brood who is constantly worrying where the next bite is going to come from, was she starting again, she would know from her own past experience that fewer chicks to look after should mean fewer worries to contend with. Why must we complicate our lives, when all that is required to prevent one worrying unnecessarily all day long is to keep it simple. Here are a few helpful tips I have found extremely valuable over the years in keeping our many problems fewer:
When missing someone, if possible, contact them by any means available.
When wanting to go out with someone, invite them. They can, at worse, only say 'no' and could also say 'yes'.
When wanting to be understood, explain in statements of direct simplicity.
If you have a question that puzzles you, ask someone who might know the answer to tell you.
If you don't like what something or someone is saying or doing, say so and ask them to stop.
If you do like something they are saying or doing, let them know you like it.
If you love someone, tell them and show them.
If you feel a strong emotion, appropriately express it.
I have learned over the years that the precise words we speak command the corresponding attachment of an appropriate level of body energy to accompany them, that will either make it more or less likely for a specific action to happen. This energy level blends our intentions to our mental instructions, to which our body reacts.
For Example:
Saying 'I might' will produce a 'possible' outcome or may not, as the energy/determination level is set low.
Saying 'I will' is more likely to produce a 'probable' outcome as the energy/determination level is set higher.
Saying 'I shall' will most likely produce the 'definite' outcome you desire as the energy/determination level is set as high as can be.
Any addict who says 'I might stop' as opposed to 'I will stop' as opposed to 'I shall stop' has little chance of stopping, but saying they 'will stop' instructs to their brain to produce the corresponding level of body energy that is capable of making it possible for them to stop. However, saying 'I shall stop' will result in the brain instructing the body to produce the required amount of energy (ie determination) 'to stop'.
Think upon these simple rules the next time you decide to give up smoking, drinking or overeating etc etc. It really does matter whether you say, 'I might, I will or I shall', as where your body finishes up in action form shall be determined where your mind and mental instruction started off!
Keeping things easy enables life to go much smoother. It also helps if you don't have a dozen hungry young ones to look out for all day with no 'me time' in-between fetching and carrying!" William Forde: March 15th, 2018.