Thought for today:
"Not having slept two nights ago with painful hands and feet, I was so relieved to sleep like a log last night and awake refreshed. Whenever I sleep well, I usually dream and last night was no exception. I dreamed about the happy and settled life I've had since I first met my wife, Sheila, who has effectively, through her angelic presence in my life, become my start and end of every day I now experience.
When dusk calls, nature listens and the sun settles down for the day. Unlike the sun, however, anyone who is not yet done with love should refuse to settle until they find the one they seek.
I was in my late 60s before I realised how many men and women of my age are still searching for love, despite the nature of their previous experiences in the romantic stakes. As a twice divorcee who was dumped by two former wives who didn't want to be married anymore, let me tell you that the story about kissing frogs holds much truth for any toad who happens to find himself in a hole. While there are a few in this world who meet their true love early on in life, marry them and stay happy evermore; for the vast majority of us, we often have to experience a few trial runs and love at least one unsuitable partner during our life, just to know who's the right one when they come along!
Whatever age one is, we always know when romance has attached itself to the shirt tail of our dreams and won't let go. We know that love has arrived when we go to bed and don't fall asleep because our reality has suddenly become much better than our dreams. We sense that love is much more than a feeling, and know deep down that unless it is something we do with someone we hate to be parted from, it is not 'love.'
Not surprisingly, the times in my life when I have been most alive is when I've been in love. Often passionate people confuse lust with love; loving the feeling of 'doing with' as opposed to loving the person for 'being with.' When relationships are built on lust as opposed to love, they tend to be possessive and controlling.To trust your partner and to show them that you truly care about them requires a realisation that the only person you should ever try to control is yourself!
I have often come across a relationship that is too possessive and clingy, where personal freedom to have one's own money, time and activities with friends is frowned upon by one partner. Just because you feel that you belong to her, doesn't mean that she and all she wants and does belongs to you! Possessiveness shortens, sours and destroys relationships. Everyone in the world needs their own time, their own friends and their own interests to stay fresh, even when they love doing things together. Love your partner as a shadow instead of a soul mate, and should circumstances ever dictate that you find yourself without them one day, your period of grieving their absence will never end, although your life will stand still until your last day.
It is only since I married Sheila I have come to fully appreciate, that for a relationship to work, man and wife should not only be sweethearts, but also the best of friends. Having a partner who is also my best friend is a most welcome and refreshing experience. I now understand that life runs more smoothly when your partner is also your friend and that the union between the spiritual and the physical is the prerequisite for becoming soul mates too. Friedrich Nietzsche said, 'It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.' What I do know with every breath of my being, is that being in love will help you abandon all masks you sometimes wore and that love will always tell the truth about yourself through its smile.
So be not reserved in your action to find true love. Anyone who is not yet done with love should refuse to settle until they find the one they seek, and once found, they should not be afraid to propose marriage before a new day has dawned." William Forde: July 24th, 2017.