"I believe that everything we do, everyone we meet and every obstacle we incur during our life is put in our path for a purpose. Things happen because they were meant to be; our fate and destiny is mapped out, even before we were planned in our parent's mind. Yes, there are moments of chance in our lives, but I believe that the dice was thrown long ago, but is still in the air, and has not yet landed! How we use the opportunities to come our way; how we greet the stranger and comfort the suffering, and how honestly and fairly we deal with others and ourselves, I also believe to be part of the eternal equation. It is in this latter area that our 'free will' is given a part to play in influencing our future. The only possible merit to be had in 'seizing the moment' is if we use it to good purpose.
We need faith to travel unexplored paths of uncertain outcome, but we can usually bet that when we find a path without obstacles, it doesn't lead anywhere worth going. There are so many paths that we can follow and too many opportunities of getting lost and straying along the way.
There were many times in my earlier life when I went down the wrong path and found myself in the wrong place, with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing. These were times when I was lost in the wilderness, having thrown away my compass and moral moorings. Fortunately, at such times in my life, fate stepped in and someone was there who believed in me enough to give me 'a second chance'.
The first to offer me a ‘second chance’ was Mrs Lockwood, mother to my close friend Peter. I was 11 years old at the time and would often have tea at the Lockwood’s home on Windybank Estate. Two days earlier, I had started ‘going with’ 12-year-old Winifred Healy at school. ‘Going with’ meant that the couple was officially boyfriend and girlfriend and had agreed to marry when they were 21 years old. This was no loose commitment, as it was made in the early 50s when a male would be sued to the high heavens for 'breach of promise' to marry the woman he was pledged to. Having secured the promise of Winifred’s hand, I naturally wanted to seal the deal properly by putting a diamond ring on her third finger. Coming from a poor household where having enough food to eat was a rarity, let alone sparklers to splash around, I did the only thing I could think of. The next time I ate at my friend Peter Lockwood’s house, I stole his sister Margaret’s engagement ring to give to my girlfriend Winifred, to impress her. The police were informed, and Winifred was forced to return the ring and not surprisingly, she never waited for me but joined a convent to become a nun when she left school. The biggest surprise of all, however, was that Peter’s mum, still invited me for tea thereafter and Peter and I remained the best of friends until he died a number of years ago.
The greengrocer, Mr Northrop was another person who gave me a ‘second chance’. As a boy of 15 years, I stole apples from his shop and ran off. He saw me and then visited my parents at home two days later. I quaked in my boots when I saw him at the door that my father answered, fearing that once he told my dad, I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week. Instead of informing my parents of my theft from his shop, he offered me a Saturday morning job which I worked at for two years. It was his involvement in my life and his belief that I would turn honest that essentially led me to become a Probation Officer in later life.
I was to stray from the path of goodness so frequently that like many a sinner, I needed 'second chances' four, five, six and many more times than I care to remember before I found the strength to stay on course.
When I became an author in later life, for the first twenty years I wrote books for children and young persons. I always wrote about feelings and situations in life that children find hard to healthily process like, loss, separation, homelessness, bereavement etc. Among the earliest of my most popular books published was 'Sleezy the Fox'. Its theme was 'second chances'. It sold over 50,000 copies in Yorkshire schools, I believe largely because of the relevance of its theme; everyone needs 'second chances' in their lives at one time or another.
My father, who'd had a hard upbringing as a child, often warned me against choosing the path of least resistance as being the right one to follow wherever I screwed up another 'second chance' I'd been given. My mother, on the other hand, had more hope in me and trusted my eventual choice to choose right over wrong and good over bad. She cared not which path I took so long as 'I chose it' and didn't walk it in blind ignorance or neglectful intent. The one piece of advice she gave me which I treasured was, 'Remember, Billy, all the schooling and learning you've had is useless unless you can ease your journey and the passage of others' (paraphrased).
So I tossed a coin in the air to decide which parents' philosophy was best for me to follow. You know, tossing a coin doesn't of itself decide one's future by which side it falls to the ground. It is during that briefest of moments when it is in the air spinning when it comes to you what you really want and which side you wish the coin to fall. My mother's path seemed the right road for me to follow, and so I devoted most of my working life helping others who needed someone to believe in them; who needed a ‘second chance’. I’m glad to say in following my path of choice, I've found my puddle of peace and many moments of contentment and satisfaction along the way.
And while I haven't yet reached my journey's end, all the beautiful people I've met along the way have made my journey worth every smile, laughter, tear, pleasure, pain, happiness or heartache I've experienced. I hope it is a while yet before the finishing post comes into view as I still need a few more 'second chances' to get sorted, before I'm ready to say, 'I've done all I can, Lord. Take it or leave it!" William Forde: January 19th, 2018.