“When we lock things away, particularly bad experiences and refuse to emotionally deal with them, we're really imprisoning ourselves. Sometimes our mind can imprison our body and can put the body under severe constraint. Whenever this occurs, there is only one way for your body to be free: to free your mind!
As the Jamaican freedom fighter, reggae singer and troubador, Bob Marley said in his 'Redemtion Song': 'Emancipoate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds,' he was gently reminding us that no prison will ever be capable of chaining the freedom of the mind.
Freedom involves being able to think our own thoughts, express our own beliefs and live our own lives. We are all entitled to hold our own opinion and indeed, express it appropriately, but it can also be wise in some circumstances to keep quiet
I always remember my early years as a Probation Officer in Huddersfield. At that time, the minimum period of custodial sentence anyone under the age of 18 would get for offences of burglary or violence was two years in Borstal. As a general rule, good behaviour during sentence would result in the reduction of time served, but bad behaviour would always lead to the young inmate serving longer.
I recall the only young man I ever knew who's original two years Borstal sentence was extended to him serving a full three years maximum before he was released on licence. His name was Bernard, who was an orphan who'd been brought up in Barnardo Homes; a likeable rogue with a string of convictions against his name for violent offences since the age of ten years (the youngest age for which a child can be criminally responsible). Bernard's problem was that he could never button his lip or take orders from his seniors, especially whenever the Borstal guards were deliberately riling him. The guards thought him to be a cocky young chap who would finish up in and out of prison all his life if he couldn't learn to control his aggressive temper. They knew that they could easily goad him and if they did, he'd responded either verbally or physically aggressively to their actions. Subsequently, they would deliberately insult him and taunt him into hitting out! When he did hit back, Bernard would receive an automatic three-month increase of sentence added on to his original two years!
At that time, I was promoting 'Relaxation Training' inside institutions and I gained permission from the Borstal Governer to give Bernard two hour's Relaxation Training weekly over a six month period. Although highly skeptical at first, Bernard tried his best to learn the discipline, just so he could get one over on the borstal guards. They frequently taunted him that he was no better than a wild animal and knew that he'd always respond like an animal when under threat. Bernard had been known to bite ankles and even ears off his opponents whenever fighting.
When Bernard was washing the floors, his bucket might be deliberately kicked over by a passing guard attemting to goad him. Our first exercise was to have the bucket kicked over without 'outwardly' responding. This took ten weeks to achieve. Once Bernard realised that when such taunts happened, he was still allowed to consider the offending officer a fat head or whatever uncharitable name he wished to call him So long as he 'thought it' but never 'voiced it', nobody would ever again be able to control the outcome of his response.
'Think it' but don't 'say it' became the best strategy that Bernard ever learnt. During the years ahead, I would often see Bernard and his wife pushing a pram around Huddersfield and smiling like a sunbeam. He always stopped to say 'Hello' to me once after he'd settled down and had married and fathered three children. I recall us talking about his borstal days and he smilingly indicated to me that he frequently uses the same technique whenever he is in dispute with his fiery wife. He may smilingly say 'Yes, my love. Three bags full, my love' while inwardly thinking, 'Go boil your fat head .....my love!'
I think we are all guilty of this strategic device from time to time, aren't we?" William Forde: January 17th, 2017.
https://youtu.be/QrY9eHkXTa4