"Today is Valentine's Day. It is a day that was first associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer when the tradition of courtly love flourished in the 18th century. Gradually, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionary and the sending of greeting cards, known as 'Valentines'.
As the years have progressed and the world has grown more needy, woe betide the man who fails to remember this annual occasion and who marks it any less than any other man 'she' has ever heard of or known. Think not upon the sending of some sweet card any longer, as that won't suffice. Unless it measures two foot by one, is too large to be delivered by Parcel Force and costs a minimum of £10 to purchase, forget it! Similarly, gone are the days of three hundred years ago when the giving of a small bag of humbugs might do to demonstrate your undying affection. Today think no less than a box of expensive chocs, which costs more and is bigger than the Valantine's Card you remortgaged your house to buy, and got a body-building pal to carry home for you. By late afternoon at the latest on February 14th, unless she's received a bunch of two dozen red roses which arrive 'conspicuously' at her place of work for all her friends to see, and has attached to it a card instructing her to put on that little black dress when she gets home, as a table for two at the expensive restaurant of Robertos has been booked for the night, prepare to eat domestic dirt!
It is a sad fact of life, but some women will always want much more than their partners and spouses are prepared to give. My first adult love said, 'I love you sweetheart. Take my heart, it is yours and take my lips'.........then she kept the best parts for herself and insisted upon a five-year-engagement period. Let me tell you, such a wait demanded the restraint of a man who was being pulled in all directions by four lusty stallions tethered to a body of throbbing testosterone, as arms and legs were pulled from their sockets and scattered to the four corners of the earth.
Every full moon a man magically appears on its surface, from which he leaps into 'cloud nine' and drifts down into the dreams of all those women seeking love; as only such women know love should ever be. It is only after you have met such a special being that you really know why God created an Adam and an Eve to share forbidden fruit. No more hanging around for that occasional trip to the seaside and the clumsby fondle snatched beneath the pier. Instead you fall hopelessly in love with a man who can make the earth move under you by merely holding you in his arms and whispering. 'I love you.' It is only when you stop trembling at the knees that you know he is the one; the only one for you. His loving kiss stops all speech and makes all words superfluous. Your heart melts effortlessly and willingly into his stream of thought and you become as one; forever tangled in love ball of barbed wire (filled with sickness and health, richness and poorness, 'til death do you part), that cannot be untwined. Whatever you have is his to have and to hold. Deep down in your dizzy spin of romantic intoxication, you always knew that love makes the world go round and now, for the very first time in your life, everything you presently feel when you are together makes it worth the ride as you embrace on a carousel of love.
No more will you doubt in the everlasting beauty of pure romance. Doubt that the stars shine in the heavens if you must; doubt that the earth moves around the sun and that the moon turns the tide. Doubt all these things if need be, but do not doubt the love I hold for you when you find your Valentine back home awaiting your return. Now, get upstairs and take off your dress..............and put on that little black dress you wear for special occasions, sweetheart, as we've places to go and things to do. Happy Valentine's Day, Sheila x."William Forde: February 14th, 2018.