Thought for today:
"Every Christmas among the many fine meals my wife Sheila cooks will always be some pork and apple sauce. I love all the other meats, and can do with or without goose, turkey, chicken or beef, but never pork! It is one of the few times during the year when I thank God I'm not of the Jewish persuasion.
I recall being once told about a social gathering between all the religious leaders in a certain community. In attendance was the Catholic Priest, the Rabbi, a Baptist Minister and even a Wesleyan Preacher. Seemingly the Baptist Minister and the Wesleyan Preacher got on well enough, but there had always been a contentious relationship between the Catholic Priest and the Rabbi. Both felt that their fate was the one true religion to follow and whenever they happened to find themselves in each other's company, while on the surface they might seem politely respectful, in essence, they were always wanting to get one up on the other.
After five minutes or so, when they found it impossible to avoid each other a moment longer, the Catholic Priest and the Rabbi entered into social collision, followed by brief discussion. A few minutes of uneasy silence existed before the Catholic Priest said, 'Pray tell me, Rabbi, and please be truthful in your response. I have always wondered, but have you... have you ever...you know...have you ever eaten a pork pie since becoming a Rabbi?' The Rabbi looked at the Catholic Priest and adamantly said, 'Of course not!'
Then, after a minute or so, the Rabbi said to the Catholic Priest, 'Pray tell me, Father Macquire, and please be truthful in your response. I have always wondered, but have you...have you ever...you know... have you ever had sex with a woman once since becoming a Catholic Priest. The Catholic Priest looked at the Rabbi and adamantly said, 'Of course not!'
An uneasy silence fell on the couple again and the two decided to separate and go their own way. As the Catholic Priest walked away, the Rabbi whispered in his ear in a voice of one-upmanship, 'I don't know about you, but I'd rather give up eating pork pies any day than forfeit the other for even one night!'
The social gathering was called to a close with all the religious leaders agreeing to put on a joint Christmas dinner for all of the elderly in their community. The two women elected to be the cooks for the seasonal feast was a staunch Roman Catholic and an Agnostic. The Agnostic had no time for any religion, however pious it purported to be, but she did genuinely care for every elderly person and was prepared to contribute her labour to the event.
Being women, both naturally found it impossible to get on with all the food preparation without chatting about this and that as they worked alongside each other in the kitchen. Naturally, after talking about the politics of the day, and men's inability not to pee on the bathroom floor, or to go straight to sleep when they get into bed on a night, the topic under discussion eventually came around to religion.
After exchanging their views upon religion forthrightly, they fell into a heated argument when they started discussing the meaning of the Christmas message. Eventually, the Agnostic cook had heard enough. Throwing her apron down in disbelief and total exasperation, she said to the other cook, 'Get away with it, woman! I'm prepared to accept the possibility of a virgin birth, but as to there being three wise men...... pull the other cracker.You'll be telling me next that men are capable of ever thinking about more than one thing, Santa comes down the chimney and pigs wear woolly coats!' Merry Christmas everyone xxx" December 20th, 2017.
"Every Christmas among the many fine meals my wife Sheila cooks will always be some pork and apple sauce. I love all the other meats, and can do with or without goose, turkey, chicken or beef, but never pork! It is one of the few times during the year when I thank God I'm not of the Jewish persuasion.
I recall being once told about a social gathering between all the religious leaders in a certain community. In attendance was the Catholic Priest, the Rabbi, a Baptist Minister and even a Wesleyan Preacher. Seemingly the Baptist Minister and the Wesleyan Preacher got on well enough, but there had always been a contentious relationship between the Catholic Priest and the Rabbi. Both felt that their fate was the one true religion to follow and whenever they happened to find themselves in each other's company, while on the surface they might seem politely respectful, in essence, they were always wanting to get one up on the other.
After five minutes or so, when they found it impossible to avoid each other a moment longer, the Catholic Priest and the Rabbi entered into social collision, followed by brief discussion. A few minutes of uneasy silence existed before the Catholic Priest said, 'Pray tell me, Rabbi, and please be truthful in your response. I have always wondered, but have you... have you ever...you know...have you ever eaten a pork pie since becoming a Rabbi?' The Rabbi looked at the Catholic Priest and adamantly said, 'Of course not!'
Then, after a minute or so, the Rabbi said to the Catholic Priest, 'Pray tell me, Father Macquire, and please be truthful in your response. I have always wondered, but have you...have you ever...you know... have you ever had sex with a woman once since becoming a Catholic Priest. The Catholic Priest looked at the Rabbi and adamantly said, 'Of course not!'
An uneasy silence fell on the couple again and the two decided to separate and go their own way. As the Catholic Priest walked away, the Rabbi whispered in his ear in a voice of one-upmanship, 'I don't know about you, but I'd rather give up eating pork pies any day than forfeit the other for even one night!'
The social gathering was called to a close with all the religious leaders agreeing to put on a joint Christmas dinner for all of the elderly in their community. The two women elected to be the cooks for the seasonal feast was a staunch Roman Catholic and an Agnostic. The Agnostic had no time for any religion, however pious it purported to be, but she did genuinely care for every elderly person and was prepared to contribute her labour to the event.
Being women, both naturally found it impossible to get on with all the food preparation without chatting about this and that as they worked alongside each other in the kitchen. Naturally, after talking about the politics of the day, and men's inability not to pee on the bathroom floor, or to go straight to sleep when they get into bed on a night, the topic under discussion eventually came around to religion.
After exchanging their views upon religion forthrightly, they fell into a heated argument when they started discussing the meaning of the Christmas message. Eventually, the Agnostic cook had heard enough. Throwing her apron down in disbelief and total exasperation, she said to the other cook, 'Get away with it, woman! I'm prepared to accept the possibility of a virgin birth, but as to there being three wise men...... pull the other cracker.You'll be telling me next that men are capable of ever thinking about more than one thing, Santa comes down the chimney and pigs wear woolly coats!' Merry Christmas everyone xxx" December 20th, 2017.
