Thought for today:
"As a general rule, we would all probably benefit, if we thought a little more before converting our thoughts to actions. Before we start blaming others for our problems, it often helps to stop and think first about who created them, as the architect is not always the one left holding the ruler and pencil.
I have spent a great part of my life and brain power problem solving; whether it be as an individual who's often messed up, a counsellor working with troubled clients or an author plotting a story.
When I am part way through writing a novel, even though I may not then know how it ends, I trust that if I apply sufficient and sustained thought to the task at hand, suitable options will start to emerge. Indeed, having the ability to steer the thoughts of another reader in a direction that suits your purpose, is an art accomplished by all good teachers, artists or authors. After all, each person is no more or less a product of their thoughts, for what they think and how they think it, determines in large measure the deeds they enact and the person they become.Think kindly and you are more than likely to act kindly; think rubbish and you'll probably talk rubbish!
I once knew of another Probation Officer many years ago called Stephen. Stephen's pastime was whittling wood into all manner of shapes with the aid of a sharp penknife. He said that it used to help him think about what was really important to him in life. Stephen, who was highly popular with all of the office staff, could always be relied upon to be the life and soul of any office party. He was always very considerate in his mannerisms and was liked by all.
One never saw him in the office without a piece of wood in his hand and a whittling penknife. Little did his colleagues know that the reason he whittled wood all day long, was because he always had a lot on his mind to think about. Instead of being the happy-go-lucky carefree person we all thought him to be, Stephen's life at home left much to be desired.
Stephen displayed one trait however, that his colleagues didn't understand, and that was his outright refusal to stay behind when 5.30 pm arrived each working day. You see, being a Probation Officer essentially involves going home when the day's work was done and not before; much like a surgeon refusing to leave his patients guts hanging out in the operating theatre, just because home time has arrived. Sometimes it would be 6.00 pm, sometimes 7.00 pm and occasionally 8.00 pm. Unless it was Christmas Eve, only the clerical workers knocked off at 5.30 pm, and never the Probation Officers, who would then usually be starting a few hours of home visits and early evening interviews.
Instead of staying on to work into the evening hours with all his other Probation Officer colleagues in the building, Stephen would be sitting at home having tea with his wife and children every evening by 6.00 pm.
His colleagues arrived at the Probation Office to start work one morning, to discover a number of the staff in tears. Stephen's wife, had been found drown in the bath the previous night. While some speculated it had been a horrible accident, it turned out to have probably been suicide.
We later learned that Stephen's wife had been a suicidal depressive for many years, ever since the birth of her two children. We also learned that she had made three or four previous failed attempts at taking her own life. It would seem that on the night in question, when she did drown herself, Stephen had not arrived home at his usual time to make the family their evening meal; having had a car puncture on his way home. When it got to 6.30 pm and he hadn't yet arrived home, his wife told their two children she would take a bath.
After the death of his wife, Stephen gave up his job as a Probation Officer and became a full time house dad to his 8 and 10-year-old children. I never saw or heard of him again after he gave up his Probation job, and I often wondered if he still whittles wood whenever he wants to think things out.
Stephen's behaviour taught me something very important when it came to problem solving. He taught me that while thinking is done with the head, arriving at a conclusion is done by the heart. In short; if one first allows one's heart to dictate the conclusion one wants, one then automatically commands all reasoning of the head to justify and defend the action that follows!
Stephen thought about his wife and children all day long. He worried about them constantly and missed them greatly throughout his day. He knew that when his two children came home from school daily, that his wife would not be able to cope with looking after them for any longer than a good hour, maximum. Hence, Stephen's conclusion to his daily problem was 'never to arrive home later than 5.30 pm to 6.00 pm'. He was never really happy until he was back home with his family and knew that everyone was safe and well.
I will end with one of my favourite quotes by that most lovable of bears who has the capacity to reduce into the fewest of words, the greatest of meanings; Winnie the Pooh:
'Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?'" William Forde: August 19th, 2016.
"As a general rule, we would all probably benefit, if we thought a little more before converting our thoughts to actions. Before we start blaming others for our problems, it often helps to stop and think first about who created them, as the architect is not always the one left holding the ruler and pencil.
I have spent a great part of my life and brain power problem solving; whether it be as an individual who's often messed up, a counsellor working with troubled clients or an author plotting a story.
When I am part way through writing a novel, even though I may not then know how it ends, I trust that if I apply sufficient and sustained thought to the task at hand, suitable options will start to emerge. Indeed, having the ability to steer the thoughts of another reader in a direction that suits your purpose, is an art accomplished by all good teachers, artists or authors. After all, each person is no more or less a product of their thoughts, for what they think and how they think it, determines in large measure the deeds they enact and the person they become.Think kindly and you are more than likely to act kindly; think rubbish and you'll probably talk rubbish!
I once knew of another Probation Officer many years ago called Stephen. Stephen's pastime was whittling wood into all manner of shapes with the aid of a sharp penknife. He said that it used to help him think about what was really important to him in life. Stephen, who was highly popular with all of the office staff, could always be relied upon to be the life and soul of any office party. He was always very considerate in his mannerisms and was liked by all.
One never saw him in the office without a piece of wood in his hand and a whittling penknife. Little did his colleagues know that the reason he whittled wood all day long, was because he always had a lot on his mind to think about. Instead of being the happy-go-lucky carefree person we all thought him to be, Stephen's life at home left much to be desired.
Stephen displayed one trait however, that his colleagues didn't understand, and that was his outright refusal to stay behind when 5.30 pm arrived each working day. You see, being a Probation Officer essentially involves going home when the day's work was done and not before; much like a surgeon refusing to leave his patients guts hanging out in the operating theatre, just because home time has arrived. Sometimes it would be 6.00 pm, sometimes 7.00 pm and occasionally 8.00 pm. Unless it was Christmas Eve, only the clerical workers knocked off at 5.30 pm, and never the Probation Officers, who would then usually be starting a few hours of home visits and early evening interviews.
Instead of staying on to work into the evening hours with all his other Probation Officer colleagues in the building, Stephen would be sitting at home having tea with his wife and children every evening by 6.00 pm.
His colleagues arrived at the Probation Office to start work one morning, to discover a number of the staff in tears. Stephen's wife, had been found drown in the bath the previous night. While some speculated it had been a horrible accident, it turned out to have probably been suicide.
We later learned that Stephen's wife had been a suicidal depressive for many years, ever since the birth of her two children. We also learned that she had made three or four previous failed attempts at taking her own life. It would seem that on the night in question, when she did drown herself, Stephen had not arrived home at his usual time to make the family their evening meal; having had a car puncture on his way home. When it got to 6.30 pm and he hadn't yet arrived home, his wife told their two children she would take a bath.
After the death of his wife, Stephen gave up his job as a Probation Officer and became a full time house dad to his 8 and 10-year-old children. I never saw or heard of him again after he gave up his Probation job, and I often wondered if he still whittles wood whenever he wants to think things out.
Stephen's behaviour taught me something very important when it came to problem solving. He taught me that while thinking is done with the head, arriving at a conclusion is done by the heart. In short; if one first allows one's heart to dictate the conclusion one wants, one then automatically commands all reasoning of the head to justify and defend the action that follows!
Stephen thought about his wife and children all day long. He worried about them constantly and missed them greatly throughout his day. He knew that when his two children came home from school daily, that his wife would not be able to cope with looking after them for any longer than a good hour, maximum. Hence, Stephen's conclusion to his daily problem was 'never to arrive home later than 5.30 pm to 6.00 pm'. He was never really happy until he was back home with his family and knew that everyone was safe and well.
I will end with one of my favourite quotes by that most lovable of bears who has the capacity to reduce into the fewest of words, the greatest of meanings; Winnie the Pooh:
'Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?'" William Forde: August 19th, 2016.
